SCREAMING AT CROSSOVER BUZZ!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! ‘nother week, ‘nother step closer to the next excitin’ episode of Screaming Soup! Yessir, while we’ve got our noses to the grindstone to pump out the next chapter in “Hard Road to Hell,” we’re simultaneously plannin’ for episodes beyond that. We’ve got all new villains in the works, unseen corners of the Crosslands to develop, and are even networkin’ more crossovers with some horrific personalities ya may have heard of.

With our 50th episode on the horizon, we’ve got some horror host hall of famers on the line for a special appearance, but nothin’s a done deal just yet. Hopefully, these iconic titans of humorous commentary will take a shine to seein’ themselves animated, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

The one upcomin’ crossover we can spill the beans on, however, is the one y’all have been beggin’ for. Ya ready for this? We will be crossin’ paths with none other than — Doctor Wolfula!

Yup, we first heard of this fan favorite horror host through our amigos, the Horror Addicts, and have been pleasantly entertained by his YouTube vids for the couple of years we’ve been watchin’ ’em now. A hard workin’ reviewer since 2010 with a zombie punchin’ bag for a sidekick named Ghoulash, Doc is relentless with his fandom for all things Scooby-Doo and tirelessly explorin’ any and all avenues for reachin’ fans ‘cross the web. He switches his presentation styles up ‘tween live action and animation, interacts with his followers through live streamin’ avatars and motion capture, and has even started producin’ an online comic strip. What can’t this fella do?

Anyway, we’ve been teasin’ a crossover ‘tween our shows for a long time on Twitter and finally reached out to each other this week to make that happen. With an upcomin’ episode in mind, we pitched Doc a guest star appearance that brings him face to face with Deadwest at the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits, and he quickly agreed to do it. No spoilers, but this legendary meetin’ of the horror hosts will be occurrin’ in our 52nd episode. A little ways off, we know, but hey, it’s none the less excitin’!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV, Sluggo’s The Vortexx, and Mr. Lobo‘s OSI 74!

And don’t forget to visit the Rondo’s Classic Horror Film Board (click HERE to go directly to it), and take a minute to sign up with Taptalk so ya can comment on the forum and nominate Deadwest from Screaming Soup! for favorite horror host. Be sure to include our site address, ScreamingSoup.com, and a reason why ya want to nominate us as yer favorite.

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT PAYDAY DELAYS!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Y’all best take cover, ’cause Christmas is comin’ at us like its brakes are cut, and 2020 ain’t too far behind. Tarnations, the holidays are flyin’ by this year. Barely have any time to kick-back with some SoCo nog and soak it all in ya know? Not that we have that kind of time to spare anyway as the web’s #1 animated horror host show, ’cause we’re consistently keepin’ the wheels on our operation rollin’ to pump out more Screaming Soup! content in the near future.

Now, we freely admit we’ve been professionally distracted from maintainin’ the tight production schedule our show used to keep, but when folks start wavin’ money in our faces to work on other projects, can ya blame us for temporarily steppin’ away from our passion fueled project to earn a payday? Luckily, most of these side gigs have been quick turnarounds like drawin’ independent comics for friends and alternate covers for Full Moon’s Deadly Ten comics. There was this one job buildin’ a website, however, that took twice as long as predicted, and ate up a whole two months we weren’t prepared to lose.

But hey, Screaming Soup!’s still as active as ever in the meantime. Our first season’s been uploaded to Mr. Lobo’s OSI 74 channel, we pitched our show to an important rep at a big time animation studio we’re waitin’ to hear back from, still deliverin’ the Howl’n Hottie of the week, continuin’ to add new bite size movie reviews on our R-Rated Reviews blog, added more reviews of the latest comics we’re readin’ on our Sequential Slime blog, and created a page here on the site featurin’ all our art for Full Moon Comix.

Despite all that though, most y’all will be happy to hear the jobs are beginnin’ to die down, and we’ll have an easier time addin’ animatin’ back into our daily jugglin’ act for your sake and ours. Mark our words, Screaming Soup! season five will be wrapped next year or we’ll change the name of the show to Pukin’ Poop!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV, Sluggo’s The Vortexx, and Mr. Lobo‘s OSI 74!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

PS

Here’s a Christmas CD ya probably never thought existed!

SCREAMING AT ELEVATOR PITCHES!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Well, we rocked Halloween, gobbled our way through Thanksgivin’, and now we’re slidin’ into Christmas, the holiday folks have been burstin’ at the seams to celebrate since August. Yup, for months we’ve been seein’ folks eagerly cover their homes in garish lights, slam their fridges with eggnog, and orchestrate full on drone attacks with those little terminator start-ups bombin’ neighborhoods with online goods they ordered in the comfort of their underwear. But as fun and relaxin’ as the holiday is, it’s also a lot of work, and we’re busy as it is bein’ the web’s #1 animated horror host show!

Like a couple of weeks ago. If y’all recall, we mentioned we were ’bout to hit up a convention where an important contact for a well-known animation studio would be in attendance, and we were dead set on gettin’ ’em to see our stuff. Well . . . we did just that. We found the very person we were lookin’ for, introduced ourselves when the moment was right, and as if karma was piggyback ridin’ the cosmic balance comin’ into alignment, curious bystanders saw our eye-catchin’ Screaming Soup! logos on our outfits and excitedly asked us ’bout our show as soon as we struck a conversation with the rep.

Right on cue, we flung open our portable DVD player with the show’s intro already playin’ and gave our best elevator pitch while handin’ ’em a folder containin’ our show’s bible ‘long with Screaming Soup! tradin’ cards, magnets, and a DVD featurin’ sample episodes in the back. Everyone’s eyes widened with joy from what they were lookin’ at, the rep told us how impressed they were with our pitch package and immediately told us they wanted to share it with their studio after Thanksgivin’. After a brief discussion regardin’ TV politics and show pitches to the head honchos of a studio, we exchanged business cards and happily parted ways. We feel really good ’bout this, Scream Freaks. Now, it’s just a finger-crossin’ waitin’ game as we hope our stuff impresses the big fish ‘nough for televised syndication.

Patience, y’all . . . this could be our wildest ride yet!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV, Sluggo’s The Vortexx, and Mr. Lobo‘s OSI 74!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT THANKSGIVING 2019!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV, Sluggo’s The Vortexx, and Mr. Lobo‘s OSI 74!

See ya later, Scream Freaks!

SCREAMING AT OSI 74!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Hope you had a speedy recovery from yer Halloween hootenannies without too much regret, ’cause the witchin’ season may be over, but we’re just kickin’ it into overdrive ’round here.

First off, you may have heard we were in attendance at the Reedy Reels Film Festival this past weekend ’cause  one of our misadventures was accepted as an animated short. Our show’s never hit this kinda artsy fartsy scene before, so it was quite the treat rubbin’ elbows with all walks of indie talents from ambitious filmmakers to up and comin’ actors. The free grub and happy hours didn’t hurt either! While we didn’t come away with any awards to speak of, we still felt like a success with every laugh we heard through the theater when our re-edited version of Deadwest Screams at Blood Diner played ‘cross the screen. Even better is when we got to go up on stage with fellow filmmakers whose films played durin’ the same block as ours and entertain the audience with our upcomin’ episodes of fightin’  demonic dung beetles on rivers of shit to stop the Iron Horsemen from damnin’ the Crosslands. Pretty tough act for flicks ’bout psycho bitches, Civil War spies, and narc comedies to follow we think.

Besides runnin’ into a emphatic audience member who became an instant fan of our show after it played, the best part of the festival was gettin’ to see a local horror director present his newest feature, A Nun’s Curse, starrin’ Sleep Away Camp‘s Felissa Rose as a homicidal nun. This guy and his crew did a great job hypin’ the film up with cool banners, buttons, and even a couple of guys dressed as nuns hangin’ in the back of the theater, but it unfortunately failed to meet the bar it set for me. I was expectin’ to enjoy a Tom and Jerry plot of a slasher movie but it endin’ up bein’ this talk heavy tour of a dilapidated prison that saves all its important deaths for the very end with some psychological switcheroos that completely ruined it for me. Fun experience ’cause of the festival but could be a lot better.

More sweet news that happened lately is our recent induction into Mr. Lobo‘s Roku channel, OSI 74! For those who don’t know, Mr. Lobo’s the horror host of Cinema Insomnia where he makes the case, “They’re not bad movies – just misunderstood.” If ya ever get the chance to read the man’s bio, he’s got a pretty impressive history with all kinds of creative endeavors from underground comics to starrin’ in the 2015 spin on Plan 9 From Outer Space. More recently, the legendary jack of all trades launched his own Roku channel featurin’ a sweet collection of entertainin’ programs. Similar to a UHF station, OSI 74 offers a line-up of original shows that include indie toons, space adventures, pop culture reviews, obscure flicks, and a variety of horror host programs that include Mr. Lobo himself, Veronique Von Venom, Lord Blood Rah, and even Sleazy P. Martini of GWAR fame.

We were hooked the second we stumblin’ ‘cross this one of a kind collaboration ‘mong hosts and been plannin’ to pitch our show as one of its programs for awhile. The only reason we held out so long is ’cause our original plan was to wrap up Screaming Soup!’s fifth season ‘fore we contacted Mr. Lobo, but with all the recent work we picked up drawin’ covers for Full Moon Comix impactin’ our production schedule, now seemed as good as any to continue gettin’ the word ’bout our show out and grow our fan base. So, after a few messages ‘tween us and Mr. Lobo, he liked what he saw, had us edit our kick-off season into 30 minute packages, and we’re now streamin’ on OSI 74 as we speak. Lotta thanks to Mr. Lobo for the exposure and ecstatic to be included in such good company of talented hosts. Get OSI 74 today and check it out, Scream Freaks!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV, Sluggo’s The Vortexx, and Mr. Lobo‘s OSI 74!

SCREAMING AT IT CHAPTER TWO!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks, and goodbye summer! That skin roastin’ ball of radiation settin’ on the horizon may signify the temporary absence of scantily clad beach parties, homesick campin’ trips, and get out of school free cards, but it also means it’s time for haunted attractions to open their doors, stores to start packin’ their aisles with cheap scares, and small town invasions by overnight costume shops makin’ a quick buck off fire hazard goods. Yup, we’re talkin’ the pre-show kick-off to the Halloween season which many of y’all been antsy to start since July. Well, one way to start celebratin’ horror fan’s favorite time of year with summer’s exit is to do what we did last night and go to the movies to check out the next lukewarm chapter of the remade It flicks.

For those out of the loop, Stephen King, one of the most successful horror writers on Earth, wrote a backbreakin’ size book ’bout a gang of childhood friends called the Losers’ Club fightin’ a young’n eatin’ clown named Pennywise, this shapeshiftin’ creature who stalks their small town of Derry ’bout every 30 years or so for small fleshy meals. This mammoth work of fiction was made into a TV movie that took two nights to broadcast and has recently been re-imagined with a Hollywood budget almost 30 years later to fans’ satisfaction. With the big screen treatment and advancement in special effects technology, the remake of the first half of the TV movie ’bout the Losers’ Club’s initial run-in with Pennywise as young’ns went ‘bove and beyond what that original adaptation did with perfectly timed scares, unnervin’ imagery, and frightenin’ situations.

With the premier of the new version’s second half, however, the story turns to tellin’ the Losers’ Club’s fight with Pennywise as adults and more or less follow the same beats as its TV counterpart while fallin’ back on a lot of the same scare tactics we’re already desensitized to from the first part in 2017. It’s a well made flick for what it is, sportin’ a top notch production value with a solid cast of talented actors, but it simply pales in comparison to the power of the first film which has the advantage of initially introducin’ audiences to a Pennywise they hadn’t seen yet and scarin’ the piss outta a compellin’ cast of kids who we feel exhibit better chemistry than their adult doppelgangers in the second chapter. The filmmakers go to a lot of trouble to give the grown-up version of the characters more depth than the TV movie did and especially try to make up for the silly spider flood light creature that soured that version’s endin’, but it doesn’t push the envelope ‘nough to make it that new or interestin’, especially when it comes to the scares, some of which are carried over from the last one!

Bottom line, there’s two to three unnervin’ scenes that’s sure to get a “Whoa!” kinda reaction from ya, but this ain’t as good as the first part of the re-imagined It series. It’s still good and worth a watch, but just don’t expect it to be more than the second half of the TV movie with the exception of a long-winded CGI fantasy fight scene in a cave that feels more Harry Potter action than scary.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT THE HORROR SHOW & WINNINGS!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! It’s been a while, but things have been crazier ’round our parts than a coked out bronco on rocket skates. You read that right! So much has happened since the last time we shot the shit with ya, and we have not one but two updates for ya this week! Jumpin’ jack-o-lanterns, right?!

First up is the long-awaited interview promised to our amigos over at The Horror Show, a pod-cast kinda YouTube channel hosted by Cecil Laird, Marcia Parker, Susie Von Slaughter & Jaime En Fuegothat who specialize in discussin’ and reviewin’ a wide range of horror topics. We first became aware of each other’s channels durin’ the original Creepy Channel Crawl back in 2018 and had a face to grimace run-in at Mad Monster Party a few months back. They’re gang is so professional and courteous, we couldn’t say anythin’ but “YES!” to their request for a spotlight interview with the web’s #1 animated horror host show. Took a while to make it happen with us bein’ in the middle of an apocalyptic season while on call for more artwork for Full Moon Empire’s upcomin’ Deadly Ten comics, but our fellow HorrorTubers were more than patient and turned out a really cool video that certainly makes us laugh. Thanks to The Horror Show for introducin’ us to their fans, you Scream Freaks be sure to follow ’em ‘cross all their social media, and see our inter-dimensional collect call with ’em below!

On ‘nother note, we want to share our excitement over winnin’ a contest on The Mummy and the Monkey’s Hairy Scary Hangout this past Friday durin’ their livestream broadcast of Horror Express on Facebook. This hair and scare combo is lucky ‘nough to be friends with one of the many legends of the horror host community, Drac from The Frank and Drac Show, and he recently donated a handful of Universal monster prints he painted to their show for contest giveaways. After weeks of drawin’ winners’ names to receive these fine works of wall art, we luckily got our name added to the final drawin’ as the final prints were ’bout to be given away, and as luck would have it – we won! Thanks to Drac for sharin’ his art ‘mong the horror community, Mummy and the Monkey for takin’ the time to distribute them ‘mong the fans, and keep an eye out for these beauties hangin’ ’round the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits in future episodes.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT SOME FRIGHTFUL R & R!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Hope ya enjoyed our designated hour of the second annual Creepy Channel Crawl last week and learned a valuable survival lesson why ya should steer clear of showers. The crawl was the iron butt challenge of YouTube marathons but so worth the couch sores to meet promisin’ newbies on the HorrorTube scene while reconnectin’ with some movie reviewin’ vets we like to think of as our contemporaries. As fun as it all was, however, all that excitement took a big drain on the ol’ battery.

After 28 hours of this frightening social experiment at the end of an already long week bustin’ our tailbones in preparation for it, we had to take a minute and catch our final breath. But we ain’t normal folk who think down time is loungin’ by the beach or takin’ long drives through Bob Ross paintings while blasting Yanni. Nope, as unrelaxin’ as it sounds, our idea of chillin’ is kickin’ back to a barrage of horror movies playin’ non-stop on the boob tube while brainstormin’ new ideas for Screaming Soup! vids and merch.

Course we still have some video projects still in motion we have every intention of wrappin’ up soon (a long delayed interview with our friends at The Horror Show and one to two Graphic Violence vids), but once those are knocked out and our epic fifth season of animated adventures to hell and back is finally wrapped up, we’ve got plenty of ideas for content that will keep the channel more regularly active between animated reviews.

As far as merch is concerned, we’ve been tellin’ you Scream Freaks we’ve been squeezin’ in whatever time we can to produce a Screaming Soup! comic, and that sucker startin’ pickin’ up steam this week! We’re halfway through the art for the first issue now, and this is the furthest we’ve EVER gotten makin’ a comic which is pretty monumental for us given the level of commitment it takes when we’re already booked with animatin’ the web’s #1 animated horror host show, 9-5 jobs, and day to day family stuff. Look below for a little sneak peek at what we’ve got so far of what’s planned to be a 4-issue mini-series featurin’ a few of us before we arrived at the Howl-Inn Grub & Spirits!

Anyways, we’ve had our fill of lolly gaggin’ and ready to saddle up for more animated hi-jinks y’all tell us ya love so much. Giddy up!!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT THE 2ND ANNUAL CREEPY CHANNEL CRAWL!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Tarnations, is it that time already?! Yup, back by popular demand — it’s the second annual Creepy Channel Crawl! For y’all who just tuned in, there was a shitstorm among small time YouTubers last year when the head honchos of YouTube announced they wouldn’t monetize or promote any videos or their associated channels without 1000+ subscribers and 4000 hours worth of views the previous year. As expected, a lotta YouTube creators bitched and moaned at the news, but our amigos the Horror Addicts decided to actually do somethin’ ’bout it and rallied support for channels in need with an event called the Creepy Channel Crawl!

A 24+ hour livestreamin’ marathon packed with more reviewers and horror hosts than you can wave an angry mob torch at, this was an amazin’ undertakin’ that entertained audiences with a smorgasbord of horror related discussions carried over different YouTube channels at the top of every hour. The Creepy Channel Crawl united creators from ’round the world, exposed digital audiences to new shows worth their fandom, and proved just how strong the horror community really is. It was a memorable weekend of sleepless fun-filled hours.

Last year, we participated as stock footage crossin’ guards of sort, directin’ viewers to the next channel they needed to visit to continue the crawl. This year, however, we made it a point to try new things with the show, so we accepted the invite to actually host an hour as one of the featured channels! Perfect timin’ too, ’cause we see some other like-minded cohorts of ours like Doctor Wolfula and the Mummy and the Monkey are joinin’ the fun as well with this also bein’ their first time as featured crawl hosts. Sounds like a party to us!

To celebrate the year’s biggest crossover ‘mong HorrorTubers, we’re thinkin’ ’bout riggin’ our cameras with some new gimmick that’s been brought to our attention — 3D-O-Vision! We’re told this picture filter will strain our broadcast to you a little differently through that cosmic rip between our dimensions, and it’s sure to be a highlight of the crawl without question. We’ve been doin’ a lot of dry runs with it to work out all the kinks, but here’s hopin’ our segement goes off without a hitch.

We gotta give ‘nother shout out to the Horror Addicts for comin’ up with the Creepy Channel Crawl in the first place and helpin’ bring the online horror communities closer together. This takes a lot of work on their part to coordinate with all the different time zones hosts are broadcastin’ from and even more time with Gory bein’ patient ‘nough to assist any and everyone needin’ guidance operatin’ a livestream while cuttin’ together promos and segway clips for channels in the crawl. Thank ya, partners!

All the scary fun begins Friday 7/12/19 at 8pm EST with our segment goin’ live on our YouTube channel Saturday 7/13/19 at 3pm. Be there or miss out on a lot of new content from the web’s #1 animated horror host show!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

SCREAMING AT M.I.B. INTERNATIONAL!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! While things haven’t exactly slowed down ’round here with us deep in production of our next excitin’ episode of Screaming Soup!, we did manage to break away long ‘nough to check out the newest Men In Black sequel, M.I.B. International. Fans have always judged the sequels ‘gainst the filmmakin’ ingredients that made an instant classic of the original ’90s flick starrin’ Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones as buddy space cops humorously bustin’ e.t. baddies, but this latest entry is the most susceptible to critics’ venom ’cause it abandons our favorite agents for all new characters we hope can even be half as entertainin’.

In a nutshell, M.I.B. International is ’bout Agent M, the newest rookie to join the world’s only defense ‘gainst intergalactic scumwads, and her first assignment is at the M.I.B.’s European branch where she meets Agent H and investigates a suspected mole in the organization who’s aidin’ an e.t. invasion of Earth. The newest M.I.B. partners are played by Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth, and this duo is brilliantly written as clever role reversals of Agent J and K from the earlier movies. Rather than a mouthy street smart rookie bouncin’ off a weathered straight man, the rookie is now the straight man (er, woman) havin’ some fun friction with glory boy who’s still ridin’ a wave of fame he earned from stoppin’ a major invasion three years earlier. With the leads already provin’ their onscreen chemistry and natural knack for comedy in Thor: Ragnarok, and the filmmakers keepin’ the M.I.B. world and mythos familiar while still providin’ an adventure more epic than the previous films, this flick should be a slam-dunk, but somethin’ just doesn’t click for us.

While the movie is as far removed from suckage as you can hope for, it still has a lot of sours we think contribute to it’s lackluster appeal. For one, Agent M’s whole character feels as underdeveloped as her social life. When she was a young’n, she witness the M.I.B. nueralizin’ her parents while lookin’ for a fuzzy e.t. she found hidin’ in her bedroom. She helps the outer space critter escape (despite the agents never botherin’ to search her house) and starts a lifelong obsession huntin’ down the secret organization to join its ranks. Flash forward years later, she’s interviewin’ for jobs with all these different branches of government she hopes will lead her to the M.I.B. all the while workin’ some IT hotline job where she hacks into NASA satellite feeds for clues to alien activity. So — we get she’s smart, but what’s exactly her expertise? Even when she’s in the hot seat with the M.I.B. grillin’ her for reasons why they should recruit her, she never says if she’s multi-lingual, a computer whiz, Mensa member, professional kickboxer – nothin’! Her initial M.I.B. trainin’ montage even goes by in a blip, givin’ us a bleak understandin’ as to how long they groom her ‘fore sendin’ her to Europe. All we see are a few test scores showin’ she’s smart and can kick ass. Well, what part of any of that covers how she knows all ’bout thermo-dynamic doohickeys later on in the movie and where’d she learn that kinda stuff?!

The rest of the sours are pretty trivial, but doesn’t help things when there’s too many of ’em. Like (spoiler alert) if the big bad guy is this e.t. that’s like John Carpenter’s The Thing, copyin’ folks from the inside out and whatever, then why does it only take over the head of the M.I.B. office in Europe ‘stead of all its agents in body snatcher fashion? Would have certainly made the fizzle of an endin’ more excitin’! And speakin’ of the endin’, what’s with all those silly melodramatic voice overs forced in there that don’t really match what’s happenin’? And couldn’t Agent H do more than just get bitch slapped ’round the whole scene and repeat the same tired dialogue over and over again?

But the saddest thing, above all else, is the movie just isn’t funny. Crazy, we know, given all the ingredients are there to guarantee at least a solid chuckle, but — nope. We didn’t laugh one time. We can tell where the filmmakers want us to laugh, but it just never connected with our funny bones the way they supposedly intended. And that really sucks, too, ’cause we would have overlooked and forgiven so much of the sours we mentioned if it only made us laugh. It’s as if the movie maybe took itself a little too serious, or just lacked that touch of panache that made director Barry Sonnenfeld’s flicks so special.

Overall, a content way to spend a rainy afternoon, but nothin’ special ‘nough to rewatch anytime soon . . . 3/5!

Other than that, be sure to catch up on all past Screaming Soup! Seasons, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films and comics we’re checkin’ out in our blogs, R-Rated Reviews and Sequential Slime, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our video channels, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail comin’. You can also warm up some Screaming Soup! leftovers with reruns currently playin’ on Beta Max TV and Sluggo’s The Vortexx!

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