Count Ted

First Appearance: “Deadwest Screams at I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle”

Drink of choice: 100 Proof Vodka Blushees

Favorite treat: Blood Pie

A ghoulish slacker with no direction in his afterlife, Ted was forced into servitude as one of Dracula’s thankless employees after failing to return a video rental on time at Dracula’s least successful business, the Video Barn. Hopelessly working off a never ending late fee as the video store’s sole clerk, the only excitement Ted had for breaking up his purgatorial existence cleaning and standing watch were regular visits from the store’s one and only customer, Deadwest. It was during one of these visits from the famous horror host, Ted’s luck took a dramatic turn.

Dropping in for a routine inspection, Dracula was irate at Ted’s sloppy housekeeping and ordered him to make the shop presentable for his mistress and business manager, Countess Contessa. Sweeping the floors in a hurry for the sake of getting Dracula out of his face, Ted was a little too loose with the broom and carelessly impaled his master from behind. Sweeping the king of the vampire’s remains up in a panic, Ted accidentally pricked himself with one of Dracula’s fangs and transformed into a vampire himself.

By law of blood as the only man possessing Dracula’s bloodline in his veins, Ted reluctantly found himself the new king of the vampires and heir to his previous master’s businesses and estates including Video Barn, Count’s Casino Castle, Bug Guts Grill, Blood and Breakfast, and Draculand Amusement Park. Not everyone was thrilled at this sudden change in management, however, and with all Ted’s inherited fortunes came the darker side of success as power hungry individuals plotted to usurp his throne.

Recognizing these threats and his ignorance to what’s expected of him as the vampire king, Ted enlisted Deadwest’s help as an aficionado on all things Dracula, and together they figure out what it takes to establish and maintain Ted’s position as the vampire king.

As a baby face vampire with Dracula’s royal blood, Ted is one of the most powerful bloodsuckers in the Crosslands, though he’s unfamiliar with just what all he can do without the proper tutelage. While prone to all the same strengths and weaknesses of an average vampire with above average speed and strength whose bloodsucking habits can be ended by severe damage to his heart or prolonged exposure to UV light, Ted is capable of so much more if he learns how to control his newfound powers.