SCREAMING AT 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! You know, being a horror host ain’t the easiest thing in a relationship. Tends to lead to a lot of arguments regardin’ horror entertainment, especially when your soul mate’s a kindred horror fan themselves. Mandy and I killed some time watching the new Cloverfield movie over the weekend, and came out fightin’ over whether or not it was a good movie. Despite falling asleep a time or 2, she declares it a bonafide good time at the movies. Me on the other hand . . .

Personally, I think the biggest mistake was the movie slapping the Cloverfield name on it. Immediately, you’re picturing all the giant alien action from the motion sickness picture of 2008, and that’s all you can think about and wait for. This was an unfortunate disservice to John Goodman and Mary Elizabeth Winstead whose acting was phenomenal. Goodman scares us as a doomsday nut who drags Winstead into his underground bunker for safety when it looks like the apocalypse has arrived, and keeps her there for fear of what’s happening outside. Winstead then struggles with whether or not to believe Goodman’s crazy claims since she was knocked out when everything supposedly went down, and if she should plot an escape from her savior/captor. Sounds pretty intense, right?

But all this wonderful tension and suspense is undercut by the fact the movie has Cloverfield in the title, so you already figure there are aliens attacking outside and just wait for Winstead to catch up to what you already know. Which doesn’t happen until the last 10-15 minutes of the movie. That’s right, aliens don’t zip in until the final reel, and would have been a bigger payoff if we didn’t know what to expect with a different title. If sticking with the title was so important, I think I would have given fans more of what they expected, and had aliens try to get in the bunker at the top of the hour, and make it more Winstead fighting Goodman and aliens at the same time. But like I always tell Mandy when she gets defensive, “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone’s got one, and they all stink!” And I’m always pointing out I like killer tomato movies, so I’m not the best one to argue good movies with.

Despite all my critiques of the film, however, Goodman plays a great villain you’d never want to run into, and Winstead is one kick-ass heroine who has to be the fastest think-on-your-feet last girl I’ve seen since You’re Next! It’s funny how much of a difference a title alone made for how much I enjoyed the film.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on Screaming Soup! Seasons 1-2 after watching the latest Season 3 episodes, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films we’re watching in our R-Rated Reviews blog, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

I’ll see ya later, Scream Freaks!

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SCREAMING AT THE WITCH!

Howdy there, Scream Freaks! Another week has passed, and we’re still firing on all pistons over here. We’re hustling our asses off to get production started on Screaming Soup! Season 4, taking some art jobs on the side, and working on our secondary vids for the site but did manage to watch some good monster flicks this past week. The one film on everyone’s lips we couldn’t ignore was the period piece about a family of pilgrims protecting their farm from an evil hag in the woods, The Witch.

Much like It Follows last year, this is the over-hyped game changing horror film that’s got every critic under its spell, not to mention 2 thumbs up from the satanic church! I won’t ruin anything for you, but I will say this film isn’t the full course meal of horror I expected. It’s an incredibly acted, superbly shot film that truly captures an authentically creepy look and feel of how shitty it was to live in the 17th century, but it was more tease than in your face fright I prefer to digest.

Focusing more on the breakdown of the family’s bond with games of “Tag, you’re a witch,” there’s very little confrontation between them and the actual villain they seldom acknowledge. This 93 minute ruin-my-Lifetime drama only offers fleeting seconds of horrific visuals I was really looking forward to; 2 scary hag shots , an uncomfortable death, one cool witch trap, a few seconds of what the fuck, a barn full of slaughtered farm animals, an uplifting ending that’s neat at best, and Black Phillip, the most amazing goat on screen next to Billy, who has the most effective scene in the whole shebang.

Sounds pretty negative, I know, but it’s a solid 3/5 film that’s worth a watch. I just wasn’t that pulled into the story, and it didn’t have enough crazy shit in it or family vs monster action for my taste. Really made me want to go back and re-watch Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. I’d recommend this flick to fans of The Shining, The Crucible, and ugly old women who think they can’t get work as actresses, but what do I know? I like killer tomato movies.

Other than that, be sure to catch up on Screaming Soup! Seasons 1-2 after watching the latest Season 3 episodes, check out this week’s Howl’n Hottie, read recent reviews for the newer horror films we’re watching in our R-Rated Reviews blog, and help us get the word out about the web’s #1 animated horror host show! Please use our social buttons in the upper right corner of the site and follow our tweets, subscribe to our Youtube channel, like our Facebook, watch and share all our vids, and keep that fan mail coming.

I’ll see ya later, Scream Freaks!

 

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